When you’re starting an exciting new job, the last thing you want to worry about is a difficult coworker. After all, the people you work alongside can make or break your experience with the company (and no one wants a toxic workplace culture)!
To make sure you don’t have any difficult coworkers tainting your entry into the workforce, we’ve put together a guide so that you can nip any issues in the bud before they become full-blown.
Coworker Red Flags
Before jumping into the classic ‘problematic coworker archetypes’ it’s important to be able to identify red flags in the workplace. Not only will this help you identify difficult coworkers early, but it’ll help you avoid adopting those traits yourself!
Common coworker red flags include:
- Quick to shut down the ideas of others
- Has trouble taking responsibility for their own mistakes
- Announces the mistakes of others in front of a group
- Struggles to discuss differences calmly
Common Coworker Issues
According to Harvard Business Review, there are three classic types of difficult coworkers. While each category presents vastly different issues, they all share one key trait: being incredibly difficult to work with.
The Pessimist
Pessimism can take on many different forms in the workplace. Some difficult coworkers who fall into this category shoot down almost every idea or facilitate nasty gossip about other team members. Meanwhile, other pessimists focus their negative attention on personal problems and muddle the boundary between their personal and private lives. Regardless, The Pessimist’s constant negativity can definitely create a toxic workplace over time.
How To Deal with The Pessimist:
When working with a pessimist, it’s important to try to understand where all that negativity is coming from. After all, people who are truly happy don’t exude this kind of energy.
By understanding that this behaviour can stem from personal struggles, it’s easier to empathise with this difficult coworker and work towards a better, more positive relationship. To further reframe the relationship, try out these tactics:
- Gently defend any coworkers that The Pessimist talks about negatively. This way, your difficult coworker will know that you’re not interested in harmful gossip and may also rethink their comments.
- Check in on your difficult coworker with a statement such as, “I can see you’re feeling upset about this situation. Is there anything we can do to help you move forward.” Understanding statements like this will make your coworker feel supported and (hopefully) discourage mindless negativity.
- Reframe your difficult coworker’s pessimism as a strength when considering calculated business risks. Their ability to see the downside of any idea will help highlight potential issues.
The Passive Aggressive Peer
Have you ever worked with someone who fires out thinly veiled insults and displays negative body language, all while insisting that everything’s fine? Passive aggressive personalities are particularly tricky to deal with, largely because of their affinity for gaslight-ish behaviour.
The reasoning behind this avoidant approach to conflict is often spurred on by a fear of failure or rejection, but that doesn’t make it feel any better when you’re on the receiving end of your difficult coworker’s death stare. To defuse the tension, give these approaches a go:
- Address the situation head-on. It might seem a little scary, but passive aggressive coworkers can only get away with their behaviour if their targets ignore the underlying hostility. Schedule a one-on-one meeting to go over how you feel and use phrases such as “From our earlier interaction, I understood that you were feeling frustrated about ___, is this correct?”
- Try to understand why your difficult coworker is acting in this way. Essentially, focus on the reason rather than their actions. This way, you can approach the underlying issue and resolve tensions once and for all.
- If your difficult coworker makes a subtle jab at you, redirect the conversation back to them by taking a pause and then asking, “Are you okay?” As this question emphasises their nasty comment and places attention back on them, your coworker will likely feel embarrassed and think twice before being aggressive again.
The Know-It-All
While confidence is super important in the workplace, it shouldn’t be used to diminish the ideas of others (otherwise, you’ll likely find yourself in a pretty toxic workplace). So, when difficult coworkers openly ridicule contending ideas, refuse to consider other perspectives, or take credit for the team’s success, it might be time to address the situation.
Before jumping into solutions, it’s important to acknowledge that this kind of behaviour often emerges as a result of deep-rooted insecurity. Thus, when we go about addressing it, we may want to do so gently. With that in mind, here are a few strategies that you can try out:
- By acknowledging interruptions from your know-it-all coworker, you’re making sure that they know their behaviour won’t be tolerated. It’s a bit of a scary tactic to put into practice, but they’ll soon get the message and start leaving spaces for other voices.
- When your difficult coworker writes off another person’s idea, ask for specific facts proving why it won’t work. This way, they’ll have to back up any dismissive behaviour, and (hopefully) their unwanted input will come up less.
- Lead by example by openly asking for help and sharing your desire to learn. If your difficult coworker sees that others have weaknesses, they might be able to be more vulnerable with theirs, too!
When you come across these personalities in the workplace, it’s common to fall into a state of frustration and adopt the belief that you’d have to quit before any real changes were made. However, this really isn’t the case.
As you can see, if you’re having real issues with a difficult coworker, there are multiple ways to resolve them without ditching your dream job.
Resolving Conflict as an Introvert
Some readers may have had a look at our recommended solutions and feel a little anxious about putting them into practice. If this is you, rest assured that your reaction is totally normal; conflict resolution is something that we must practice and build confidence in.
While you’re still building your de-escalation skills, it might be best to hand the responsibility to a manager or supervisor. That way, you won’t get caught in the crossfire if conversations get heated.
To bring up issues with a difficult coworker, simply schedule a one-on-one meeting with your boss. We’re sure they’d be more than happy to help you out!
Remember: It’s All A Learning Experience!
If you’re going through issues with a difficult coworker, we know how much that sucks, and we’re sorry you have to deal with that. However, it’s important to know that negative situations can help you grow as a person (and know what to do if the same issues ever come up again).
Be the bigger person, focus on yourself and continue building your career. Trust us, it won’t be long before your coworker woes are a distant memory.
Feeling ready to enter the world of work? Head to our early-career jobs page and discover what opportunities are waiting for you!
